The majority of what I’m blogging about can all be tied together into a congruent motif. Music, entertainment, virtual worlds and social media… They all exist in seperate spheres, but like an overly complicated Venn diagram they’re intrinsically linked. Each with an endless amount of complexities that play off one and other and contribute to making life better and more entertaining. So that in mind, the hell is up with pandas? For one, I love them. Pandas are the most adorable creatures on Earth and I challenge anyone to a duel who dares disagree with me.

Don't be mistaken, I will destroy you

Don't be mistaken, I will destroy you

I know, my blog already comes across as random enough. Throwing pandas into the mix seems like an “F you” to all notions of rhyme or reason but I swear to you, it’s an absolute necessity.

Let me share a few facts about pandas with you:

1) Although the panda is technically a carnivore, it’s diet consists of 99% bamboo.

2) Bamboo is not very nutritious, making them lazy as balls. They even avoid steeply sloping hills to limit energy expenditures.

3) They limit social interactions and will kill humans out of irritation.

4) Pandas are cuter than anything you’ve ever seen in your life and would make phenomenal cuddle buddies had they been wired differently.

This is hard science, folks. It’s not fair either, because not only do the Chinese have a powerful industry that makes us look like a bunch of stoners, they also have to be the proud owners of the greatest animal on Earth. It’s my job as an American blogger to share as many panda related things as I possibly can as part of our courageous fight against communism. Now, for those of you who are still skeptical, consider this…

Need I say more?