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Had a link to this bitchin’ site passed along to me last night and had to get a quick post out about it this morning. The picture comes from Threadless, an online community of artists who submit their t-shirt designs to be voted on. Supposedly, the best ones are made into actual t-shirts that are sold on the site. Except for this little piece of t-shirt zen from Pandaluna.

kiss panda

Feel free to send me as much money as you possibly can so that we can finance this brilliant work of art into physical t-shirt greatness.

Also, found this awaiting my approval in the inbox this morning:

floreshayes@gmail.com

Submitted on 2009/07/23 at 7:40am

a great find for panda fanatic!
my roomate LOVE this Morn Creations Bag.
hkpanda.freetzi.com

Strangely enough, I’m cool with it. Never thought I’d get panda spam, but at least it’s not like, penis pills for pandas. I hope a million people buy this lovely panda bag because Flores Hayes decided to spam me.

What is it about you, panda? You’re a giant fucking bear with mandibles of death and for some reason you can get away with whatever the hell you feel like doing. Most of the time it’s nothing, because all you eat is freaking bamboo and you’re lazier than a pot-smoking koala. You’d think that being a branch-eating, sedentary fat ass would mellow you out, but god forbid a human get anywhere near you. Maybe we’d just like to cuddle, did you ever think of that you irritable pretend-bear? We all know you’re really a raccoon.

And then here’s the real joke, you damn near kill a guy but get off scott free because you’re so damn cute. You just can’t help but be the most adorable animal on the face of the earth can you? Next time I rob somebody’s jacket I’m gonna roll around in it after and hope the police let me walk free. You know, panda, elephants get killed for this kind of shit but you just prance around with the world in your outrageously cute little panda hands. I bet you’re real pleased with yourself right now.

The majority of what I’m blogging about can all be tied together into a congruent motif. Music, entertainment, virtual worlds and social media… They all exist in seperate spheres, but like an overly complicated Venn diagram they’re intrinsically linked. Each with an endless amount of complexities that play off one and other and contribute to making life better and more entertaining. So that in mind, the hell is up with pandas? For one, I love them. Pandas are the most adorable creatures on Earth and I challenge anyone to a duel who dares disagree with me.

Don't be mistaken, I will destroy you

Don't be mistaken, I will destroy you

I know, my blog already comes across as random enough. Throwing pandas into the mix seems like an “F you” to all notions of rhyme or reason but I swear to you, it’s an absolute necessity.

Let me share a few facts about pandas with you:

1) Although the panda is technically a carnivore, it’s diet consists of 99% bamboo.

2) Bamboo is not very nutritious, making them lazy as balls. They even avoid steeply sloping hills to limit energy expenditures.

3) They limit social interactions and will kill humans out of irritation.

4) Pandas are cuter than anything you’ve ever seen in your life and would make phenomenal cuddle buddies had they been wired differently.

This is hard science, folks. It’s not fair either, because not only do the Chinese have a powerful industry that makes us look like a bunch of stoners, they also have to be the proud owners of the greatest animal on Earth. It’s my job as an American blogger to share as many panda related things as I possibly can as part of our courageous fight against communism. Now, for those of you who are still skeptical, consider this…

Need I say more?

So here we are, The Electric Panda is up and running. I started The Electric Panda to focus my writing attention in one area. All of my previous writing ventures are scattered about with my formal writing in the Daily Utah Chronicle and my blogging ventures existing in now deleted blogspot URL’s. WordPress is the mother of all blogging sites and I wanted to harness the full power of the blogging scene to present my message.

My message of course being that the internet is crazy, virtual worlds are amazing and that everyone deserves good music (and entertainment for that matter). I’ll just let my future posts take care of that. As a side note, panda related things WILL make appearances from time to time so be prepared for irresistible cuteness.

I suppose this is a long winded way of saying I’ll be posting some articles from my time at The Daily Utah Chronicle and Red Pulse magazine. With Red Pulse magazine going under, I want to preserve my writing done from that time as it was the only magazine in the state geared towards A&E for college kids. Most likely I’ll blog about this later, but the death of Red Pulse was a big smack in the face to college age kids in Salt Lake. C’est la vie, I guess.

Now I will take advantage of having a wordpress blog and upload a couple songs I like. You will find them cool and refreshing like a cold lemonade on a hot summer day.

Slow Club – Sunday

Blue Roses – I Am Leaving

Welcome to the Electric Panda. Not to be confused with the obscure 80s Australian band (the music is actually good) or Italian eco-cars (Pandas are from China, duh!), The Electric Panda is all about music and virtual worlds. Released from the confines of what The Man says about style and correct form, I’ll be unleashing a torrent of music and internet stew upon anyone who dares to read it.

As an admittedly short lifelong music lover, I’ve been amazed at the amount of music available these days. Before Napster happened, the scope of music content available was considerably smaller than it is today. The rise of the internet and the power of computers themselves to create and edit music has seen an explosion of styles and varieties of music available for listeners. Thank you, sweet sweet internet, for making this possible.

Another beautiful thing the internet has made possible is virtual worlds. My personal journey started in Second Life last December when I wrote an article about it for Red Pulse Magazine, the now defunct A&E mag for the Daily Utah Chronicle. I was hooked from the start and have become a virtual world nut ever since. Virtual worlds have almost unlimited capabilities with how they allow people to interact with media. They’re basically the future of the internet and thus, I will continue to blog about them on here.

The Electric Panda aims to be your source on entertainment in the metaverse, with the occasional social media or non-virtual world related music post making an appearance. The ways the metaverse and social media are being used is developing at a break neck pace, and it’s hard to keep up with the developments. Instead of getting bogged down in how many people are Twittering about swine flu, The Electric Panda will be following those developments and how they affect and bring you new music and entertainment in ways you’ve never experienced before.

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